


Unprecedented

by madasthehatterforalice



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Grey-Asexual Character, M/M, temporary fem!clint, temporary gender bending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-15 19:14:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3458684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madasthehatterforalice/pseuds/madasthehatterforalice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint gets turned into a girl, Phil's grey-asexual, Clint's his exception, and I don't even know what I'm doing anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unprecedented

"Hey, guys! Check it out!" Clint rounded the corner, blatantly staring at his newly protruding chest before looking up to enthuse, "I'm hot!"

"Barton..." Coulson groaned, giving in to the urge to hide his face in his hand, if only to block his view of Clint like...that. Trust this to be Clint's reaction to a rogue being reassigning his gender.

"What's amatter, boss? Don't you think I'm pretty?" Clint said, giving a twirl. An. Actual. Twirl. Because the powers that be didn't do things by half-measures. Clint's new body was clothed in a overtly feminine version of his uniform. Complete with flowing miniskirt. He looked more like a circus gymnast than a SHIELD issue archer.

There wasn't enough Tylenol in the world for the headache he could feel brewing behind his eyes.

"Yeah, 'boss,' don't you think he's pretty?" Tony intoned. Oh yes, definitely not enough Tylenol. Maybe he could milk the whole "remember-that-one time-your-brother-stabbed-me" thing with Thor and he would give him a nice tap with Mjolnir. Best case scenario he would forget this whole thing. Worst case...Well, Hel is supposed to be lovely this time of year. Phil had no illusions about ever making it to Valhalla, no matter what Thor proclaimed. He was sure the Lady Hel had a special place for superior officers who lusted after their emotional stunted, too often betrayed, needed one good man in his life, why-couldn't-Phil-just-be-that-man, subordinates.

It wasn't even that he liked men, or women for that matter, Phil had been fairly certain he was asexual till Fury had dragged Hawkeye into SHIELD. He'd been half-starved and clearly beaten by as many friendlies as enemies but Phil was gone from the moment he saw him. It would be years before he would bother to identify that magnetic pull he felt towards the new Agent Barton as attraction. Turns out grey-asexuality is a thing and Phil fit it, guess you really are never too old to learn new things about yourself. In between all this self discovery Phil had fallen hard and fast emotionally as well.

To have Clint flaunting in front of him as he was doing now only served to solidify his assumption that he would want him whatever his form. And, Phil thought ruefully as Clint showed off his newly dainty legs, whatever his form Clint Barton was out of his league.

"If we all could please keep from objectifying Agent Barton long enough to debrief," Phil let the end of the sentence hang as he turned away, hoping the Avengers would follow. They usually did. They complained about it but they rarely actively put up a fight.

"'We'?" He could practically hear Stark's suggestive eyebrow.

"A figure of speech, Mr. Stark." There were times he daydreamed about shaving it off. Just the one, mind.

"Uh huh." He imagines it would be quite satisfying.

********************************************************************

If he thought the debriefing would be any better he was clearly mistaken. Clint's new...attributes were the center of attention. It was only decades of professional pride and integrity that kept Phil focused on his role. But now, back in the safety of his office he could admit that were he lesser man he would have been just as distracted as the rest of them.

In the midst of his thoughts there was a knock on his door. Any doubt as to who it could be was erased when Clint opened the door, without waiting for a response and plopped himself in a chair across from Phil.

"You're still wearing that?" Years of experience have taught him the best way to react to an unexpected Clint was act as though you _had_ been expecting him.  
Clint shrugged in a way that would have been nonchalant if Phil hadn't known him so long. "I don't exactly have anything else that would fit," he said and there is a pause where Phil actually thought he might leave it at that. "Besides," Clint breathed, leaning across Phil's desk, "when I do take this off, I don't exactly plan on putting it back on for a while."

Phil couldn't help himself, he sighed. "Barton I'm sure whatever...personal discovery you are planning can wait until you are in your quarters," Clint still hadn't moved so Phil stressed, "Alone."

"Oh it wasn't myself I planned on discovering," Phil raised an eyebrow at him, "Phil." At this Phil's eyebrow was join by its twin convening in his hairline.

Clint clearly took this as some sort of affirmative because he grinned leering-ly at him and prowled around his desk. Phil was frozen. Lost in time. He'd had attention turned on him like this but never by someone he wanted in return. As such he was helpless to react.

Slowly and suddenly Clint had traversed the distance around Phil's desk and planted himself in Phil's lap. One leg on each side of him, skirt flowing around their thighs, nosing at his neck, hands running over his chest, gently clawing at his shirt.

He'd seen Clint flirt, so many, many times, it was a very...hands on interaction. And nearly every time, even when said flirting was only part of a cover, a small unfocused part of him would wonder what it would be like to be touched like that, to have those hands on him. But, now? Now, he knew all of his imagining had nothing on the wonderful, glorious revelation of it. It was all Phil could do to keep his white-knuckle grip on the armrests.

"Barton," Phil tried to maintain professional distance but gave up when the other man's name broke in his mouth, "Clint. Surely there are more a-appropriate c-companions for this v-venture."

"Don't want them. Want you," Clint's voice, already low for a woman's, was positively growling. How did other people deal with this...this...this desire? Having never had to deal with sexuality then suddenly having it shoved in his lap? It was amazing he was still forming thoughts let alone words.

"W-why n-n-now?" Phil could have kicked himself. This was it. This was the stupid question that was going to bring Clint out of whatever madness had over taken him. When he would come to his senses and realize he didn't want this, didn't want Phil.

But instead of pushing away, instead of leaving, Clint leaned impossibly closer, his breath brushing Phil's face. "I saw the way you looked at me. You want me." He was practically breathing in Phil's ear now, "Always knew you had to be straight."

That was it. Not even the heady rush of all that was Clint finally, finally, so close could over cloud the crushing truth of that statement. Phil pushed Clint back until they were properly looking at each other. "I'm not straight."

Clint's expression as he climbed off of Phil could have been laughable if it were not for the circumstances. "Bullshit!" It was practically a shout compared to his breathy whispers just moments before. "Those are so impressive pants, Coulson," Clint said coolly, blatantly looking at Phil's crotch, "but they don't hide that much."  
Phil shook his head and hoped against all hope he could find the words to explain what he had never tried to tell anyone before, "I'm not gay either."

"So what then?" Clint was clearly becoming agitated but at least his agitation came from confusion rather than the mistaken belief that Phil was rejecting him.

"Grey-asexual."

"Grey?" Clint sounded skeptical but still: not leaving, so Phil wasn't going to complain.

"I rarely experience sexual or physical attraction. In fact, I identified myself as asexual until..." Phil was rambling now he could feel it he just couldn't stop, this was like "I watched you while you were sleeping" all over again.

From the grin on Clint's face Phil's worries were unfounded, Clint was never dumb and he clearly saw where Phil was headed if his shift back in his direction was any indication.

"You," Phil finished, "It has only ever been you. Since the very first day."

Then Clint was in his lap again pressing his lips to Phil's without preamble. Phil only had a brief moment to appreciate this fact before he felt the body on top of his shifting in shape and mass.

Clint pulled back from him smiling, "I reserve the right to tell Tony love's first kiss broke the spell."

Phil smiled back at him, "Continue and I might let you."

Clint laughed at that, loud, hardy, and masculine. It was a beautiful sound.

**Author's Note:**

> This sat in my computer nearly finished for months. Thanks to dottirofmonsters on tumblr for inspiring me to finish it.


End file.
